IM GOING TO STAB MYSELF IN THE FOOT I JUST SENT MY ENGLISH TEACHER MY ESSAY ON HAMLET AND IT WAS STILL NAMED “the fresh prince of denmark yo holla”
oh man, i love receiving unedited final drafts:
cracks me up every time
so im babysitting this girl right now and we’re watching tv and the satellite sort of cut out cause it was raining really hard
so i just said “thunder god if you give back our satellite i’ll give you ice cream”
a second later the thunder clapped again and our tv came back
the girl is forcing me to hold up my end of the deal so guess who’s making ice cream for the thunder god
so im shopping for make up for the girlfriend bc valentines day and holy fuck how do you girls afford this shit
$80 for eye shadow???
is it made out of unicorn shit
what is naked 3
why is it called naked
will it make her look naked
why is it $50
that’s 50 cheese burgers
i can’t deal with make up good bye
That opens up with chanting in a different language
With the royal family
And the adorable children
And the tragic death(s)
And then our hero runs away
And sings a really catchy song about being free
Without realizing that the kingdom is in ruins
And is being ruled by a villain who wants to be king
A villain who is really good at causing guilt trips
And so our hero goes back
And they all live happily ever after
It’s such a great movie
Press play and enjoy fuckers.
At first I’m just like “it’s fucking clapping, I don’t ca-” and then he began to sing and I took in such a deep breath my uncle had to make sure I was ok.
GOOD BYE FRIENDS I AM GONE
If you don’t reblog an acoustic version of My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light ‘Em Up), something is wrong with you.
THIS IS SACRED